So, Will Smith’s New Movie “Collateral Beauty” Is Really Bad

three. No single overview sums up the sheer WTF-ness of the flick, which, on the floor, is a couple of damaged man named Howard (Smith) who can’t transfer previous the loss of life of his younger daughter. But be warned: There are “twists.” So, listed here are excerpts from a number of the most entertaining ones (warning: some spoilers forward):

Many of the phrases that I wish to use to explain this waste of expertise and time, which riffs on Dickens’s everlasting A Christmas Carol and tries to fabricate feeling by offing Tiny Tim, can’t be lobbed in a household publication. So, as a substitute, I’ll simply begin by throwing out some permissible insults: synthetic, clichéd, mawkish, preposterous, incompetent, sexist, laughable, insulting.

—Manohla Dargis, the New York Times

Every so typically there comes a film so tasteless, so nakedly pandering, so bodaciously in poor health conceived that you simply’ve bought to see it to consider it. This 12 months, that film is Collateral Beauty. […] Pinpointing one deadly flaw in Collateral Beauty is unimaginable — the transgressions pile up like a trash heap of Christmas miracles.

—Stephanie Zacharek, Time

At quite a few factors all through Collateral Beauty, I merely threw up my palms in exasperation at how silly and lifeless it was. […] Maybe Collateral Beauty is lacking an hour of footage or one thing, however I’m extra prepared to guess someone learn a primary draft of the film’s script, satisfied Will Smith to signal on, after which mentioned, “Put some Christmas lights on all the things. We’ll launch it in December. It’ll be positive.”

—Todd VanDerWerff, Vox

Here’s a promise few motion pictures could make. If you sink two hours into Collateral Beauty now, it’s assured that for the remainder of your life, when dialog stalls, it can save you the night time by asking, “Did you ever see that film the place Will Smith performs an advert government so shut down with grief over the loss of life of his daughter that his enterprise companions — performed by Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, and Michael Peña — rent actors to confront him in public within the roles of Death, Time, and Love, the summary ideas to whom he has been penning and mailing offended letters?” […] They will shake their heads. They will say you’re making it up. You could surprise if it’s you who was gaslit, in that theater. Could this have been an precise film? Aren’t the individuals who make motion pictures folks, too?

—Alan Scherstuhl, The Village Voice

Forget Collateral Beauty, no matter which means. This is
“Collateral Schmaltz,” the sort that has the facility to shut moderately than open your coronary heart as you rush out of the theater whereas the terribly named One Republic ballad, “Let’s Hurt Tonight,” supplies exit music.

—Susan Wloszczyna, RogerEbert.com

At least Norton lastly will get to play a personality named Whit, which has one way or the other not occurred already.

—Emily Yoshida, New York Magazine

If there’s one fixed about Collateral Beauty, it’s how persistently it disappoints.

—James Berardinelli, ReelViews

Back when Howard dominated the advert world, he used to ask the query: “What is your why?” — actually one other good purpose to hate him. After seeing Collateral Beauty, my “why” is to warn you off the time-and-money suck of this cinematic equal of coal and wooden. It’s sufficient to make Scrooges of us all.

—Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

It’s fairly attainable Collateral Beauty will transfer you to tears. Then once more, it’s fairly attainable you’ve been moved to tears by commercials about canines that befriend horses, viral movies the place college students shock a retiring trainer with a musical tribute and/or violently yanking out one in every of your personal nostril hairs.

All three of these examples go about incomes your feelings in a extra professional means than this nonsense.

—Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times

The Will Smith weepie Collateral Beauty couldn’t be extra calculated and manipulative if it slapped you on the again, shoved an enormous lollipop into your mouth and instantly tried to promote you a time share in Tampa.

—Kyle Smith, New York Post

Somewhere in a forest, a maple tree needs all its sap again.

—Mara Reinstein, Us Weekly